Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Cat is in the Dog House

Yes, it's getting crowded in there. After the dog's disappearing act, the cat has had to up the ante to make sure he gets a slice of the attention too. Moving on from leaving puddles on the dining room floor, Fergus (white, with ginger bits, senile, incontinent, half-blind, not stupid cat) decided to p*ss on Mel's bookbag.

For those of you not in the know, a bookbag is a thin nylon satchel-shaped bag, just big enough to hold an A4 book. Primary school kids carry their reading books to and from home in them. They are invariably stuffed full of the day to day lives of the child - scrap paper, notes from the teacher, permission slips, sweet wrappers, marbles, broken pencils and one glove. This collection of items was what Fergus mistook for a toilet.

Nick did his rabbit-in-the-headlights panic attack and I heard various shrieks as the cat was chased, still leaking, around the downstairs. The hall carpet and dining room floors both gained cat dribble at this point. The cat was finally ejected, and Nick raced to save the contents of the bookbag.

Oh boy.

He grabbed the dripping bag and took it to the sink. But the sink had washing up in it. So he put it on the work surface, where it formed a small pool of urine. Dragging the contents out, he realised there was nowhere to put it. He stuffed wet books and dripping worksheets wherever he could find a space - in between the dirty crockery, on the floor, on the cooker. The p*ss was now everywhere. Devastation complete.

Madness, chaos, mayhem. My work here is done.

1 comment:

  1. Bad Fergus! Bad Fergus! No bookbag marking.

    Poor Mel. I hope there wasn't too much schoolwork to rewrite.


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